Spoiler Alert: You Don't Have to be a Perfect Mom to be PERFECT For Your Kids
I’ll never forget the patient that changed it all for me.
This mama had it going on: she’d had a relatively quick labour and birth, she was breastfeeding like a champ and she seemed to be adjusting to motherhood quite nicely in the 30 hours since her baby was born. I had finished her health teaching, completed the discharge paperwork, examined both her and the baby and completed my final car seat check- she was good to go!
So imagine my shock and surprise when she grabbed me in the hallway of the hospital outside her room and clung to me, sobbing:
“I can’t go home without you. I can’t go home. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
My heart just sank for her. Her husband didn’t know what to say, he just stood there swinging the baby in the car seat looking completely lost and confused. I hugged this beautiful mama for a minute, then I stood back and looked at her, weighing my words very carefully. I knew that what I said in that moment was going to stay with her for a loooong time.
I know you’re feeling overwhelmed, but I believe that you’re already the best mom your baby could have ever asked for. Nobody loves her like you do. When you’re at home and you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing, remember this: she has no clue. You don’t ever have to be the perfect mom to be perfect for your baby.
It wasn’t long after this that I started to think about innovative ways to help moms get information and support so they don’t feel quite as overwhelmed when motherhood hits. And for some of us, it hits hard!
That’s how Mamasoup was born.
I never dreamed of owning a social network, but here I am; a nurse, doula and Lamaze educator with a goal of reaching as many women as possible so they never have to feel like that mama in the hospital.
But when I think about it, I didn’t always feel confident as a mom even after four babies. In fact, I still don’t and my baby is 14 years old now! I rely on a village to chat, dish and share with. But some women don't have a village yet. They don't have friends and family, backing them up and cheering them on for this motherhood marathon.
If that sounds familiar to you, I hope you'll join us.
So, here’s my question for you: What is the hardest part of motherhood for you right now?
Send me an email and tell me, Mama. I personally read every email that comes through.
Perfect moms don't exist so stop beating yourself up. You don't need letterboards and the perfect nursery decor to prove yourself to anyone. As long as you let love guide you, you'll be everything your kids ever need.
Joanne Ilaqua - CEO of MamaSoup
Hey there, I’m Joanne.
I’ve spent about 20 years serving women as a nurse, doula and Lamaze educator. I have 4 kids and I know firsthand how lonely and isolating motherhood can be, so I created MamaSoup. I'm mostly known for my love of red wine, spontaneously singing and my confidence in being my true self on social media. When I’m not busy building women up, you can catch me taking Instagram stories of my bulldog Ruby, watching The Handmaid’s Tale, playing MUber (Mom Uber) to my kids or vacationing in my favourite town: Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
I love serving the world by providing a space for moms to connect and support each other. In my opinion, moms are the backbone of communities because they are (literally) raising the future!
As the founder and CEO of MamaSoup, I’ve been featured on CHEX TV Morning Show, KawarthaNOW, Economic Development- The City of Kawartha Lakes and MyKawartha.
Still with me? Join me over at MamaSoup to keep the conversation going!