What it Feels Like to Have a Baby: Labour from Start to Finish

Lately, my newly pregnant daughter has been asking me a lot of questions. I mean, a LOT of questions. And I totally get it- even though I've been pregnant myself now four times, the first time I was expecting was a scary and exciting time.

One of the questions that has come up over the years in my birth practice is,

But what does labour really feel like? 

And it's understandable if you're pregnant and curious about what to expect when it all comes down to it. After all, movies and media will have you convinced that having a baby is fast, furious and fucking painful. But when my daughter asked me how labour and delivery will feel, I realized that it was a great opportunity to outline here on the blog, from start to finish.

Of course, I have to tell you that every labour is a like a snowflake- no two are exactly alike. But after years (and years) of attending births, I can safely tell you that having a baby usually unfolds the same way, in about six steps.

What to expect during early labour

When you first start to experience the contractions of early labour, you'll probably feel so excited that things are finally getting underway. Especially if you're overdue or you've had a tough pregnancy! When my sister-in-law was in early labour, she phoned me and said, "I'm finally having contractions! Grab a pizza and come over to celebrate with us!"

I'm soooo excited to be in labour!

Early labour is typically the longest stage. No joke, it can last for days in very normal births. The excitement begins to wear off pretty quickly if you're impatient. Your cervix begins to get thinner and open up to about 4 centimeters and that's not even halfway to the 10 centimeters it needs to be for your baby to pass through. Your water may break and your mucous plug may come out.

How you may be feeling in early labour

Emotionally:

▪️ Happy and excited

▪️ Full of energy

▪️ A little nervous and even scared

Physically:

🔹 Your uterus tightening and getting hard with each contraction

🔹 Loose bowel movements

🔹 A backache

What you can do in early labour

- Relax and rest

- Drink and eat

- Go for short walks

- Call your midwife, doula and/or birthing centre

- Activities to distract you from your contractions, like cards or video games

- Repeat birth affirmations (Grab my free printable affirmations!)

📣 How contractions may feel during early labour:

Your uterus feels hard with each contraction, and you have no control over when it happens. It's like a muscle cramp, but when it releases you've got time to rest before the next one.

What to expect during active labour

Imma be real honest with you now: it's called "active labour" because you will spend most of it actively trying to get comfortable while you're having contractions. 

Omg this is hard work!

Active labour is when your contractions continue to thin and open your cervix from 4-8 centimeters. Your baby is starting to shimmy down the birth canal, but it's a slow process. Your water may break and you may lose your mucous plug.

How you may be feeling in active labour

Emotionally:

▪️ You're feeling quieter, thinking about the hard work of labour

▪️ Scared because labour is getting harder

Physically:

🔹Backache

🔹 Hot and tired

🔹 The need to move around and change positions

What you can do in active labour

- Get up and move around to keep labour going

- Moan and Hum

- Go to the bathroom often

- Get in the tub or shower

- Back rubs and counterpressure

- Cool cloths on your face

- Repeat your birth affirmations

📣 How contractions may feel during active labour:

Your contractions will be coming more often and last a little longer. They'll happen every couple of minutes with a short break in between. They'll still feel like involuntary muscle cramps focused on your lower abdomen.

What to expect during transition

The good news about transition when you're giving birth is that it's the shortest stage of labour. Almost every single woman I've been with during this stage has tried to bargain with me for a way to get out of it. I've had requests for c-sections and woman have asked if they can just go home. I'm not telling you this to scare you, Mama. I'm just letting you know that everyone goes through it to some degree!

I can't do this anymore!

When we hear that, we get excited because we know that pushing the baby out is very close! Transition is the stage when your contractions are thinning and completely opening the cervix from 8 to 10 centimeters- it's only 2 centimeters. If your water hasn't broken on it's own by now, it usually breaks during transition.

How you may be feeing during transition

Emotionally:

▪️ Discouraged and panic because labour is so hard

▪️ Like giving up

Physically:

🔹Hot and cold flashes

🔹Like vomiting

🔹shivery and shaky

What you can do during transition

- Keep your body relaxed

- Breathe as evenly as possible

- Follow your instincts to change positions

- Close your eyes and rest between contractions

📣 How contractions may feel during transition

At this stage, the contractions are coming hard and fast with very little time to rest. It may even feel like some of the contractions don't end before another one peaks. You may feel pressure on your back as the baby's head presses on your back and vagina.

What to expect when you're pushing your baby out

This is the phase of labour that is so greatly exaggerated in movies and on television shows. I can see why- it's the most exciting part of having a baby! 

RELATED: How to Push your Baby Out Without Tearing a Damn Thing

Holy shit, this is hard!

Is pushing a baby out hard work? Hell ya. But it's not usually as dramatic as media may make you believe! Now that the cervix is fully open, it's time for your baby to come on down the birth canal.

How you may be feeling during pushing

Emotionally:

▪️ Happy that transition is over

▪️ Renewed sense of energy now that you know it will be over soon

▪️ A sense of disbelief that it's time to push

Physically:

🔹Pressure in your bum

🔹Some time without contractions as your uterus prepares

🔹Burning or tingling around the outside of your vagina as the baby's head crowns

What you can do during the pushing stage

- Follow your body's urges to push when it's ready

- Imagine that each push is bringing the baby down and out

- Rest between contractions

- Don't get discouraged: pushing is often two steps forward and one step back

- Squat and stay upright to allow gravity to help

📣 How contractions may feel during pushing

Your contractions will still be intense when you're pushing, but there will be more time to rest in between them. 

What to expect when you're delivering your baby

When you finally give the final push and your baby is born, you'll probably feel proud and excited about what you've done.

My baby is here!

Once the baby is born, you'll still experience mild contractions but you'll probably be so distracted by your new bundle of joy that you won't really notice. Allow yourself to be in the moment, enjoying your baby!

There's a chance that you won't feel so excited and that's perfectly ok, too. It's one of the things I talk about in this viral blog post: 5 Things First Time Moms Wished They'd Known Before Giving Birth.

What to expect after your delivery

When you're in labour, your body releases endorphins to help you manage the pain of contractions. Once it's all over and you've had a chance to bond with your newborn, you'll feel exhausted. 

Holy crap I'm tired. Just let me sleep!

Get any rest that you can and allow others to do all of the non-baby tasks so you can stay skin-to-skin and rest. There's a chance that you may feel contractions while you're breastfeeding if this isn't your first baby.

As you can see, giving birth is a marathon not a sprint. It's meant to take time so your body can react physically and physiologically to have a safe, drama-free delivery. Don't be scared, be excited; every contraction brings the baby closer.

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