Things my Daughters Have Asked me During the First Trimester
Learning that you're pregnant is such a trip, whether you planned it or not. You're staring at that test, unable to believe what it's telling you. Once your brain registers that you've got a baby on board, you feel happy, sad and scared at the same time. Maybe you're like my daughter: taking four tests because you just couldn't believe the first three. No matter how you finally get around to believing that you're expecting, the questions come next. And they come fast and furious.
One of the greatest joys of being a health professional in the birth space has been watching my daughter-in-law AND my daughter as they move through pregnancy at the same time. Not to make it all about me, but I haven't been this excited for anything for a long time.
At the time I'm writing this, we've got one around 28 weeks pregnant and one around 14 weeks gestation. And although the baby-mama's are close in age, they've had a lot of differences in how they're experiencing pregnancy. That's the coolest part about expecting a baby, isn't it? It does seem that pregnancies are a lot like snowflakes: while they all look alike, no two are exactly the same.
Things my daughters have asked me during early pregnancy
If I do say so myself, having MamaSoup as your mom/mother-in-law while you're pregnant is a pretty lucky situation. Not only do I have four kids of my own, but being a doula and nurse in the childbirth space for many, many years has given me some pretty unique perspectives on pregnancy, birth and postpartum. My girls have open access to trustworthy information without trying to decipher what to believe on the internet.
So, I thought I'd share a few of the questions they've asked me so far. Because if they're wondering about these things you may be too!
"If I get another job, should I disclose my pregnancy?"
The advice I gave was this: absolutely HELL NO. As a business owner, this was a tough one to answer because I know how much companies invest in employee training. But the truth is that it's nobody's business. Especially when you're only eight weeks pregnant.
Nobody wants to think about miscarriage but the numbers are compelling: about 10-20 percent pregnancies will end in miscarriage. It's the reason that many women don't even tell people they're pregnant until the second trimester.
The other reason I wouldn't tell a potential employer that you're expecting is because here in Ontario, mothers can receive a parental leave up to a year. No company will want to hire someone that they know will be leaving for a year.
"Is ginger and mint tea for my indigestion ok?"
I'll be the first one to tell people to do their research about the use of herbal therapies during pregnancy and good luck finding evidence-based information. However, ginger and mint tea are acceptable in moderate amounts. My only advice was for her to buy it in the loose leaf format since there is a lot of plastic found in tea bags. When that plastic is heated up with hot water, it releases the chemicals into the tea and messes with hormones. Pregnant or not, I would always opt for loose leaf tea.
If you're really into aromatherapy and you want a trusted resource for women during all stages of life (including pregnancy!), I highly recommend this book:
I gain nothing by sharing this link, I just love this book and have used it a lot in my own practice.
"Is Milk of Magnesia ok if I'm constipated for a day?"
Lucky for her, I've answered this one at length so I sent her a link to it:
CONSTIPATION IN PREGNANCY: 7 Safe Remedies
There is a lot of great information in that one, so be sure to click the link if you've been having a hard time pooping!
"What muscle rubs can I use for my normal neck and shoulder pain?"
This is a great question. It's not really medicine if you just rub it onto your skin, right? Wrong.
Everything you put on your skin will be absorbed and picked up into your blood stream. When you're pregnant, you should take medications only when absolutely necessary. Natural remedies like arnica and tiger balm are NOT recommended for use in pregnancy. Herbal remedies can contain strong ingredients that may not be safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding.
Instead of using muscle rubs, we opted for coconut oil for light massage, heat and an appointment with a registered massage therapist.
"My midwife appointment is 7 weeks away. What do I do until then?"
As a pretty laid-back person myself, I thought this was an odd question. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that after the shock and emotions of finding out you're pregnant, you probably aren't sure what to do next. The truth is that you've just gotta aim for daily moderate activity, eat a colourful well-balanced diet and get lots of rest. It's hard to believe that you're growing a human because you look the same, but take care of yourself and continue to live a healthy lifestyle.
If you're a weed/cigarette/vape smoker you need to stop as soon as possible. If you drink alcohol, it needs to stop immediately. If you're on any medications and you're unsure about whether or not they're safe for pregnancy, contact your local pharmacist to find out your best options.
Other than that, live your life!
"Is there any concern if my umbilical cord is slightly to the side of my placenta instead of right at the center?"
The umbilical cord is usually located at the center of the placenta. The placenta is responsible for providing the baby with oxygen and nutrients and the cord is how those things get to the baby. Any time there's an abnormality with the placenta or umbilical cord, there's a risk to the baby. Especially a risk to the baby growing and developing normally. That's why extra monitoring is necessary.
In our case, the baby is doing well and growing as expected. The midwife has been cautiously watching the baby and if there are any problems they will be handled as needed.
(I've decided to do an entire blog about marginal cord placement, so keep an eye out for that soon)
If you're told that your cord isn't centred on the placenta, expect to have more ultrasounds and monitoring during pregnancy than usual. But if everything is going well with the baby, enjoy your pregnancy!
It's normal to have a LOT of questions in your first trimester of pregnancy. So many changes happening in your body and you can't see a lot of them! What are you wondering about? Ask your questions below and I'll try my best to answer them.
EMAIL JOANNE YOUR PREGNANCY QUESTIONS
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Hey there, I’m Joanne.
I’ve spent about 20 years serving women as a nurse, doula and Lamaze educator. I have 4 kids and I know firsthand how lonely and isolating motherhood can be, so I created MamaSoup. I'm mostly known for my love of red wine, spontaneously singing and my confidence in being my true self on social media. When I’m not busy building women up, you can catch me taking Instagram stories of my bulldog Ruby, watching The Handmaid’s Tale, playing MUber (Mom Uber) to my kids or vacationing in my favourite town: Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
I love serving the world by providing a space for moms to connect and support each other. In my opinion, moms are the backbone of communities because they are (literally) raising the future!
As the founder and CEO of MamaSoup, I’ve been featured on CHEX TV Morning Show, KawarthaNOW, Economic Development- The City of Kawartha Lakes and MyKawartha.
Still with me? Join me over at MamaSoup to keep the conversation going!
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